Voting Obsessed and Possessed: The Dicks

16 01 2009

Basically we hate everyone who fills out those MySpace surveys all day. Wow, we went to middle school together. Let’s be friends so I can see your fugrats and read your crappy blog devoted to your second divorce. Oh wait, wtf, why do I have 20 zillion survey bulletins from you all of a sudden? OMG!!!! Delete from friends. The End.

Whew.

Yes, we may hate surveys. But, wow, give us a poll and we turn into those survey fiends and not only want to tell you about the last person we kissed, texted, and boned, but now we want to tell you how you should vote too!

So, today we take the opportunity to encourage democracy and tell you about our love and absolute first choice for the Austin Music Poll’s Hall of Fame. We present to you, The Dicks!

In a very scientific (and perhaps sophomoric) manner, we remembered how funny the word “dick” actually is (as in “bowl of dicks” “eat a dick” “sweet sweet dicking”) and then totally went with them. But then we read about their music and we fell even more in love with The Dicks! Sorta-pun, intended.

thedicksThe Dicks: In their rage-driven, nonpolemical stance against racism, homophobia, and police brutality, the Dicks embodied the most extreme confrontational and liberating aspects of Austin’s punk rock aesthetic. Although the roar of their oft-covered 1980 debut single, “Hate the Police,” anticipated the hardcore explosion, vocalist Gary Floyd’s larynx-shredding expressionism had clear roots in the blues of the mean Old South. Following 1983’s Kill From the Heart, Floyd moved to San Francisco and reformed the Dicks with new members. Guitarist Glen Taylor passed away in 1997, but the surviving Austin-era Dicks reunited in 2004 without losing a drop of piss and vinegar. – Greg Beets

Racism, homophobia and the police are all anathema to us. We’re sold on The Dicks. Our vote secured, we still decide to Google them. Lo and behold, they have an unofficial MySpace Fan Page. Sometimes we pray at night that one we’ll have one too, so we are over the moon. Check this out!

The Dicks always gigged with Big Boys, and Austin Hardcore evolved around those two groups. The Dicks were led by Gary Floyd, a fat gay singer dressed in weird drag, who’d take enema bags filled with liver and condoms filled with mayonnaise and hurl them at the crowd. The classic Dicks – frontman Floyd with mean-ass members bassist Glen Taylor, guitarist Buxf Parrot, drummer Pat Deason – started as a “poster band”, the posters promoting imaginary shows at ficticious [sic] clubs, saying things like “First ten people with guns drink for free.”

Hardcore, mayo, and DRAG??!??!?! It’s just too much to handle. What can we say? WE LOVE THE DICKS!

–DD

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